THE PLATES GET CLEARED

Oin asks "What should I do with my plate?” hopping up to see that most have finished eating and have moved on from belching. He is thinking now about the cleanup "Were do I put my dirty plates?" he asks Bilbo.

Bilbo: "I am happy to take them myself, thank you!"

Bifur (Dwarven): “fanghur alfrell quan harng sartosvrenht isû astim aruna ach knurlcarathn oc rast gáldhiem ! thardsvergûndnzmal” (COME LADS, LETS SHOW THIS HOBBIT HOW WE MAKE QUICK WORK OF CLEARING A TABLE!) Bifur stands stretching.

Kili: WE can handle that, I feel a jig coming on.

Bilbo watches in horror as the Dwarves start balancing stacks of plates and bottles on top of each other without even bothering to carry them out to the kitchen on a tray!

Fili: "Aye! We can move this along swiftly! Let's jump to it." Stands up heading to the kitchen.

Bilbo: “Please be careful with those dishes, they were my mother’s special pattern.” Bilbo wags his finger again.

Fili: "I think Mr. Bilbo is afraid we will break a plate!"

Kili: “Lets show him how it’s done.”

Fili catches the plate from his brother sending it into the sink for a wash before tossing to the next dwarf.

Bifur throws a plate to Gloin laughing

Bilbo: "Please be careful of those! That’s my best china!"

Oin laughs and laughs as his kin tease the wee Hobbit lad! He looks bout to lose his head!!

Bilbo: “Watch you don’t bend my spoons! That silver service has been in our family for years.” Bilbo throws up his hands trying to get their attention.

But when Bilbo sees a plate fly by thrown from one Dwarf to another on its way to the kitchen, he becomes thoroughly flummoxed running around to catch the plates sailing through the air, shouting.

"I don’t believe in flying saucers! Not in my house!" he yelps.

PLATE TOSS SONG VIDEO (Bifur & Gloin)

Balin: eyes twinkling, smiles in merriment at the plate throwing.

Fili sings along with the dwarfs as he catches plates and washes them.

Kili: Dances a jig as the plates are tosses and stacks.

Bofur: "Well that was sure a quick Cleanup, wouldn't you say mr. Baggins? Quick cleanups are a dwarven speciality."

Dwalin: "Aye, on the battlefield as well." Dwalin calls to Bofur.

Kili: Licks it clean, letting out a laugh

Bifur laughs hardy wiping his mouth on his sleeve looking around the hobbits dwelling. ~ Oin finishes off the plate cleaning at the sink and sets the last one on top of the neat pile, winking at the hobbit lad. ~ Bilbo pantry and larders were bare to the bone, but those things could be replaced. His mother’s dishes and silverware could not.

Narrator: Bilbo was in a panic, however the Dwarves tossed the plates and all with precise movements, and quickly things were straightened up.

Bilbo regains his composure after he realizes the Dwarves had done none of the things they sang about, and had actually worked with the same amazing speed and coordination to move the furniture back leaving in their wake, orderly stacks of clean dishes and cups.

A SONG OF REMEMBRANCE

Narrator: The Dwarves moved to the den, and Thorin near the fireplace.

The dwarves were not through with their songs, and had gathered around the fireplace in the parlor and began to produce musical instruments they had brought. All the same, Bilbo was exhausted! collapsing in his three legged chair."

Fili chuckles at the hobbit. ~ Bifur has a seat near the fire picking at his teeth and drinking what’s left in his cup of mead. Looks down at Bilbo laughing then turns his attention to the pictures in front of him.

Bifur (Dwarven): “beogh erôth ach sweld estvarn erôthknurl nal dar ragni gedthrall dar eowynthir” (Baggins who be the lovely little lady up here on the wall?)

Bilbo responds quietly, "That is my mother." Goodness knows what she would have thought of this gathering in the house she and his father had built.

Narrator: Thorin looks into the fire. The fire that brought back memories of that day.

As the room grows quiet, Thorin is standing by the hearth staring into the flames. "I remember that terrible day. It is time we all remembered it in song."

Gloin: "Let us remember it together"

LISTEN TO THE MISTY MOUNTAINS SONG @:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8ymgFyzbDo

Balin: closes his eyes, nods his head, and remembers in solemnity.

Bilbo is revived a bit by the fiddle music by the dwarves and turns to listen to the song of the dwarves and is carried away.

Gloin eyes fill with tears.

Oin sees his Brother's tears and wipes away a few of his own.

Bilbo is quite moved by the song of far away mountains and beautiful things made in gold by skilled hands...

Bilbo: ...Of jewels found in deep caverns...Waterfalls as high as sky and to hear the pine-forests. ...Of ancient kings and lords....To wear a sword instead of a walking stick…

Bifur stares into the fire wiping tears away quickly

Bilbo realizes he had not seen very much of Middle Earth beyond the Shire, and that’s when his Took side took hold, daring to wish for …’a little adventure’

Balin's face takes on an expression of grim sorrow remembering how they fled Erebor that day.

Dwalin's eyes flowed with tears as he sang along in the harmony. he was not ashamed to weep for their great tragedy.

Fili sadness filled his heart drawing tears to his eyes

Gloin wipes tears from his eyes "we will see our home some day"

Thorin turned to the gathering. "We are met to discuss our plans, our ways, means, policy and devices. We shall soon before the break of day start on our long journey, a journey from which some of us, or perhaps all of us may never return. It is a solemn moment.

Our object is, I take it, well known to us all. To the estimable Mr. Baggins, and perhaps to one or two of the younger dwarves, the exact situation at the moment may require a little brief explanation-”

Bilbo feels for these people who have lost their homeland, when he has such a comfortable home, and is glad he shared his in this most Unexpected way, then hears Gandalf say something totally unexpected.

Gandalf: "If you have ever seen a dragon in a pinch, you will realize that this was only poetical exaggeration applied to any hobbit, even to Old Took's great-granduncle Bullroarer, who was so huge (for a hobbit) that he could ride a horse. He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of the Green Fields, and knocked their king Gol-firnbul's head clean off with a wooden club. It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole, and in this way the battle was won… and the game of Golf invented at the same moment. NOW! The reason that you are all here."

Gloin: “Bullroarer was a long time ago. The reason we are all here? Did I not also see a sign on the door that brought us all here!”

Gandalf: "There was a sign on the door, I put it there. Now for this journey we need a map."

Gandalf takes a folded map from his satchel and unfolds it laying it on Bilbo's flat table in the Parlor.

A MAP AND KEY TO HOME

Gloin see's that map and eyes open wide. ~ Bilbo stands up to see. He loved maps, having made several of his favorite walks, and becomes engaged in this adventure. ‘The Lonely Mountain’ he voices to himself reading from the map.

Gloin: grumbles under his breath. "Map or not. THERE IS NO WAY INTO THE MOUNTAIN! It is sealed by great dwarf magic!""

Gandalf: " Oh but there is…And by some wizardry, conjures up a key floating over the map. “This is the Key of Durin Folk. A way into the Lonely Mountain, a little courage and it can be done, if clever and careful. Our heroes are few, hence the need for a burglar.”

Bilbo sees the difficult task any burglar would face, and adds “Yes, an expert one by the looks of it.”

Gloin: Stares at Bilbo: "So lad, what is your expert opinion on this?"

Balin stares at Bilbo.

Bilbo gladly offers it after studying the map…

“Well it’s my considered opinion, you should go East and have a look around for the side door shown on this map....

...After all dragons must sleep sometimes. And any hobbit worth the hair on his feet, can sneak past a larger, clumsier creature, like a man, without being detected.

Bifur listens intently to all

Thorin: studies the map and the burglar to be, trying to get the measure of him.

Bilbo continues: ...A dragon is quite a bit larger and clumsier, so it should be easy for an expert burglar to retrieve your property, if that is all the job calls for.”

Gloin: Looks at Gandalf. "ISN'T HE THAT BURGLAR?" Then glares at Bilbo.

Bilbo: “Me? No, I am no burglar.” Responds Bilbo, “I have never stolen anything in my life, apart from any confidence you may have had that I was the burglar for your job.”

Thorin: Interrupts them and says "I agree." he says in a low tones but sarcastic manner. "Master Baggins seems more like a Grocer than a Burglar."

Bilbo takes a bit of an offense at the remark, “I beg your Pardon!”

Gandalf: Rises to his feat as a shadow looms around him and the maia power arises "ENOUGH!!! DO NOT INSULT MY HOBBIT! IF I SAW HE IS A BURGLAR.... then he is a burglar. He is the son of a took, and a Took can never be underestimated."

Bilbo is frightened by the sudden darkness, but speaks on his own behalf.

Bilbo: I don’t pretend to understand what you have all been talking about in reference to burglars and dragons and can assure you I had no sign on my door, as it was just freshly painted a week ago! But be that as it may, I will take it on good faith, you were lead to the right hobbit home. "

Bilbo was now starting to feel the fire of his Took ancestry rising in his blood and felt honor bound to defend his family tree.

Bilbo: “I will show you what a Hobbit can do. Just tell me what you wish done, and I can walk from there and back again, fighting the Goblins of Middle Earth along the way, just as my great, great, great, grand uncle Bullroarer Took once did!”

Gandalf: Smiles "That is what I hoped to hear Bilbo. That's the Took coming forth!"

Balin looks upon Bilbo and a slight smile flits across his face.

Bifur nods quietly agreeing while playing with his soft beard.

BARGAINING AT BAG END

Thorin: Nods at Gandalf agreeing to do it his way. "Gloin, show Mr. Baggins the Promissory Note."

Gloin pulls out the note. "Here you go Mr... umm Burglar"

Oin says nothing as he is intent on trying to hear all that is said with his ear trumpet tight to his ear.

Bilbo receives the note and responds in his best business manner (usually reserved for bankers and solicitors), to appear wise, prudent and professional and live up to Gandalf’s defense of his worth. As well as to buy time, looking for an 'escape clause' out of his impetuous response.

Bilbo: “First I should like to know a bit more about the risks, out-of-pocket expenses, time required and remuneration so on and so forth.” Pauses and then continues...

“Nor do I think of this task as burglary, which is a crime. If I understood the meaning of your song correctly you would be giving me permission to break into your own home under the nose of a belligerent tenant to simply retrieve property that is rightfully yours. Call it what you like, but that is what is called for here.”

Then Bilbo turns his attention to the promissory note audibly listing the benefits “Fourtneenth share of the treasure…”, nodding affirmatively remembering the tales of Dwarven gold, before listing the dangers before him as well, “…Funeral expenses…paid by Thorin & Company… unless none of the burglars remains can be found due to lacerations, evisceration or incineration. ???…”

Bifur laughs under his breath as Bilbo continues to read.

Bilbo: "IN-CIN-ER-RATION?"

Kili: “Aye lad, a dragon is no joke. Imagine a giant furnace with wings. Intense fire and pain, then poof, you are a pile of ash." makes a poof with mouth, with fingers spread motioning with his hands, his eyes wide open to express the full extend of it.

Fili: "Aye but don’t worry, it will be over in a flash A bright flash at that!”

Gloin oddly chuckles at the two young dwarves. finding it humorous and witty.

Thorin smirks and nods to his nephews.

Bilbo suddenly felt very light headed after reading the boiler plate notation and hearing Kili & Fili’s graphic description of his possible demise. Placing his hand on his head, he faints off his chair straight away.

Bifur straightens up in his chair turning to look at Bilbo's face eyes wide and mouth dropped open a bit.

Gandalf: He is an excitable little fella, gets queer little fits. But he is our best hope."

Oin watches the wee fellow take a dixie and chuckles

Bifur (Dwarven): “hert brâgha nal gar sartosvrenht arn feldûnost ienmif rast estvarn ascud sartos had rast hert nithgech otho ingeitum” (Oh that is not setting well with the little fellow, looks like he may not care for dragons!)

Oin checks to see if Bilbo is breathing.

Kili: "Like we said be fast, or the furnace comes"

Fili: "stream of seering fire..... poof. Remember?"

Oin: "He's allright!! Just fainted is all"

Balin looks down upon Bilbo, smiling slightly. ~ Gloin laughs again. ~ Kili shrugs looking at Gandalf.. ~ Bilbo starts to come around as several dwarves help him to his feet and move him to a chair near the fireplace to recover from fainting spell, providing him with a cup of tea.

Gandalf turns to bilbo "This is your choice. I know you Bilbo, since you were very young. I believe in you. I feel the inner took must be free, and you can be a great value to Thorin. Changing what will happen from failure to success."

Fili holds his hands up looking innocent.

Gandalf: Places a hand on Bilbos shoulder to clear his head some. "You are not a meer Hobbit. This I know."

Bilbo feels a soothing flow of energy from Gandalf and nods saying…

“I will be alright. I just needed to sit quietly for a moment, with a little something to drink to calm my nerves.”

Bilbo stares at the fire sitting quietly with his thoughts as conversations around him begin to die down as the dwarves make preparations for bedding down. His heart had been softened to the Dwarves sad tale being forced from their home by a dragon.

Gloin begins to yawn and is exhausted.

Thorin: "It's time for us to sleep." Thorin said and found a chair.

Fili feels the heavy weight of sleep causing his eyes to close as the couch he was on was more comfortable than the floor.

Gloin: "Indeed we have a long Journey ahead of us." dozes off

Bilbo sees the dwarves settling down on the benches, couches and floor to sleep, and tip toes out of the room towards his bedroom. Offering his own home for the night, and a good breakfast to start their journey (if anything remained in the pantry), was the least he could do for the homeless throng.

Kili jerks up his head forcing his eyes but fails to stay awake, his head drops on Fili's shoulder.

Bifur nods staring into the fire as he eyes heavy begin to close.

Oin curles up on a bench in the corner and closes his eyes, He begins snoring immediately.

Bilbo realized he hadn’t really given an answer to go or stay, but his Tookish side was wearing off quickly, with the prospect of being far from home and facing the dangers of a dragon. All it would take is a slip of a foot to wake a sleeping dragon and he would miss his supper for the rest of his life!

“Best to sleep late”, he told himself. "...and let them depart after cooking their own breakfast."

Balin settles himself into the sofa comfortably and closes his eyes.

Kili pushes off Fili and curls up on the coffee table.

As to the mark on the door, Bilbo checked before retiring for bed, and found nothing but a clean paint job…Whatever magic had put one there, had also taken it away.

Gandalf sits and watches over the others and Bilbo. "In the morning... It shall begin."

================================================================

RP was based on the movie and deviated from the book in this regard: Bilbo wakes relieved to find the Dwarfs gone and everything washed up and put away. Gandalf also arrives in the morning, just before Bilbo's second breakfast, alerting him to the time, and the Promisory Note left on his fireplace mantel by the Dwarves, which Bilbo has yet to see. Gandalf prods Bilbo out the door just in time, before he can gather his wits, money, hat, walking stick, handkerchief or other items for the adventure. Bilbo leaves Gandalf his keys to lock up, who later catches up with the group en route, with Bilbo's pipe and tobacco, as well as handkerchiefs. Dwalin offers him a spare hood and cloak.

Thanks to RPers: Thorin (Borelek); Kili (BloodshroudLord); Fili (filietdwarf); Bofur (drakealexander1); Balin (JarnEldurhjarta); Gloin (Kavarek); Bifur (Metalsmyth Greymoon); Gandalf (MithrandirMaia); Óin - Son of Gróin (StormAlong Magic); Dwalin (tombombadilLOK); Bilbo Baggins (beedle.beedit); Narrator (LORTManager). Photos & Video: Bilbo.

Special Thanks To: Tempeste Desmoulins for the Plate Toss Game.